Trigger hap– crazy: A follow-up to “All or Nothing”

[Note: Somehow this post got deleted and I lost my data from my last edit? So, that’s fun. Here’s my best attempt at salvaging.]

Words are weird. Words are triggering. Words by definition may mean one thing, but they can evoke such different things in us. When I talk about my “crazy” emotions, my use of “crazy” may mean something different to me than it might mean to someone else. It’s impossible to go through life constantly explaining and defining our use of every word, but I am aware that my use of the word “crazy” could be triggering for someone else.

What is a trigger? A trigger is a reaction (whether conscious or subconscious) in response to a memory of pain or hurt. Triggers can often bring people right back to when the wound was first opened and cause painful feelings to resurface. Some reactions to triggers can look like an emotional outburst or stonewalling in difficult conversations. The person or thing “triggering” often isn’t aware of it or does not intend to do so. Read more about triggers here and here.

We’re all at different places in our journeys. We’re not all on the same level of awareness of our triggers. And if you are aware of every little thing that triggers you and what every little trigger means or refers to for yourself, I applaud you. You have probably won at life. Please share your secrets.

When I talk about my crazy emotions, I just mean that there’s no way for me to explain them. They’re all-encompassing, annoying, and simultaneously, beautiful. They’re big. Bigger than anything I’ve ever experienced sometimes. They’re unpredictable and sometimes dramatic. But they’re not always bad. They’re sometimes amazing and helpful. My emotions are a big, beautiful mess that I call “crazy.”

I’ll be the first to apologize for the words that will inevitably trigger past wounds in whoever is reading this. I know not everyone who is reading this will be triggered by something, but I’m apologizing to the one who might. I see you and I respect you. Come talk to me about it more if you’d like.