Hi. Thank you for being here. Thank you for even having a remote interest in my daily life. I do not take that privilege lightly. I appreciate you. I want you to know that you are seen and you are thought of. This platform is the beginning of a journey for me. My heart has … Continue reading Introduction
To my white family and friends
This is not for my Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC) friends. I welcome you to stay if you choose, but most of you already see what I will implore those reading this to sit with. This is a letter to my white family and friends. This is going to be messy. It already is. … Continue reading To my white family and friends
Silence
I've been having a hard time sitting with the silence the last couple weeks. I tend to fill that space with anything imaginable, from calling a friend to bingeing a TV show. I don't really engage with the silence, but the silence has been screaming at me lately. The silence forces me to engage with … Continue reading Silence
My Body Knows Before I Do
Last night I found myself feeling a heavy silence, despite watching a movie with my husband. Something felt deafening, or distracting. It was similar to a feeling of dread, like I had left the house and couldn't remember what I was forgetting to bring with me. The air felt thick and heavy, and I couldn’t … Continue reading My Body Knows Before I Do
Adjustment Disorder
I recently discovered that my current diagnosis from the therapist I have been seeing is Adjustment Disorder with Mixed Anxiety and Depressed Mood. The first thing my mind goes to is an invalidation, a questioning of what people would think of me if they found out that all this is just because I can't "adjust" … Continue reading Adjustment Disorder
Surrender
I'm supposed to be writing a reading journal for my class tonight, but instead I am here. Barely getting through this flood of information about my privilege and the oppression I have contributed to just by being, by breathing. It's funny how a song can speak the words you didn't know you needed. I've been … Continue reading Surrender
I just need a break from “more”
It's impossible to be emotionally healthy, pursuing growth, and making healthy choices 100% of the time. I'm sorry to the perfectionists out there. It just is. I'm in a phase of life where every inch of my inner self is being poked and prodded, questioned and reimagined, processed and developed. And the media and society … Continue reading I just need a break from “more”
Finding myself
I have a folder in my Microsoft OneNote app on my computer titled "LOL at myself." It's where I put my crazy ideas, musings, scheming, etc. I'm laughing at myself right now because I bought this camouflage jacket recently. Why is camo back in style and why am I drawn to it? Just like the … Continue reading Finding myself
I don’t want to forget this
This feeling. This moment. It's the perfect spring evening. Still bright outside, but it's dusk. Fresh, light rain on the pavement. I didn't know it in the moment, but it was the smell of healing and restoration filling my senses. I drove home from class to the perfect song. The one that makes you feel … Continue reading I don’t want to forget this
Trigger hap– crazy: A follow-up to “All or Nothing”
[Note: Somehow this post got deleted and I lost my data from my last edit? So, that's fun. Here's my best attempt at salvaging.] Words are weird. Words are triggering. Words by definition may mean one thing, but they can evoke such different things in us. When I talk about my “crazy” emotions, my use … Continue reading Trigger hap– crazy: A follow-up to “All or Nothing”
Daily Haley 